Freedom to choose. Isn’t that the most beautiful thing ever? Isn’t that the real abundance? Being able to choose to stay or leave? No, it’s not always an easy choice. But it’s still a choice.
We had left Germany already three years earlier. I had a Charity Organisation where Malia and I helped children in need. Malia’s dad left to prepare for his dream to play in the 7’s National Rugby Team and to make enough money to fulfil his responsibility as a son to support his olderly parents. I knew how heavy that burden rested on his shoulders..…
Tonga – “The friendly Island”. A proud little Kingdom in the middle of the South Pacific. A home base on the other side of the world, with different culture, customs and beliefs. The other home country of my daughter. Once again, we left everything behind to sail to new shores. What I refused for many years, suddenly seemed to be a great idea. Building a house and a home in Tonga. To critics I always replied, that our daughter comes from two different parts of this world and her Tongan grandparents also want to spent time with her. She wanted to meet all of her Tongan family…and I was willing to follow her and her dads wish…to come to Tonga – The Friendly Island!!!!
Licht und Schatten….. …können ohne einander nicht bestehen. Dort wo das hellste Licht brennt, findet man auch den dunkelsten Schatten. Und wir mittendrin in Tonga. Auf der einen Seite ist das Leben hier ein Traum. Malia kann den ganzen Tag im Freien spielen. Schweine, Kühe, Hühner und Hunde sind überall, auf der Strasse, den Feldwegen und sogar in Deinem Garten wenn Du keinen Zaun hast. So nah an der Natur. Auf dem Bild, der Blick aufs Meer von Malia’s Zimmer. Die Liste mit den traumhaft schönen lebenswerten Aspekten ist lang…. Auf der anderen Seite finden wir uns mitten drin in Familienintrigen, Manipulation, Diebstahl und Lügen. Alles was selbstverständlich sein sollte, muss ich hart erkämpfen. Mein Eigentum schützen und dann den shit storm und die ‚Lektionen‘ aushalten, dass ich es wage für mich und meine Tochter einzustehen. Was in der Welt passiert, haben wir hier in Micro-Form. Eine Kette von Schmerz und Hass. Hass kann nicht mit Hass gestoppt werden. Diese Kette wird bei uns unterbrochen! Grenzen setzen, die auch schmerzhaft, aber notwendig sind. Mich selbst …
Seeing your child having a meltdown can be extremely difficult. I don’t like the terms temper tantrum or terrible two’s or three’s. How could I label an entire year, half of my child’s life time as terrible??? A meltdown, an overflow of emotions can come in any age. Depending on the development stage and the hormone level, it might be more intense in certain ages.The earlier you start finding your way through the jungle of emotions the better for all of you. When working with your child through the emotions at age 2 or 3 or even earlier you will set a great base for the future. It will help you through the years with challenging development stages like 6-8 or the teenage years.
What to learn from a little butterfly A little butterfly was caught in the bathroom of a house. She must have been entered through a small opening in the wall and couldn’t find her way out. She seemed so desperate and kept trying to fly towards the light, where she bumped against the closed window, over and over again. There was no way to open that window. I opened the door and tried to show her the way out. But she was so busy and too excited to see that there was someone trying to help. Although the door towards freedom was already open, she chose to continue the same painful way, the only one she knew. For hours, she ran repeatedly against the closed window. Until she finally broke down, lying exhausted and frustrated on the bathroom floor.
Help can come in many different ways. In April 2016 my dear friend and former colleague at Deutsche Bank, Andrea Kahland, came with my god-daughter Hannah (7) and brother Finn (5) to volunteer for Rucksack Coach. They met our cleftfriends in the Philippines and shared tears and joy with us. She wrote about her experience: Travel report from Andrea Kahland
We were so hopeful that three patients will be admitted today. It looked good..but it all went different. It was a tough day for all of us. At least we’re all together to keep our faith. If you wish to donate, please do so here: You Can Help!
April 2016: Three cleft kids and their families awaiting their cleft palate operation through NCFPI. How do they live? How do they feel, the night before hospital? The quality of the video might be poor, but the message is rich. If you wish to help, you can donate here: You can help!