Yes you can do it. You are capable. When you really want to do something, you will find a way to do it. I don’t accept a simple: ‚ I can’t do it.‘ I won’t allow fear or even my own limited beliefs to disempower my child. Each time we say ‚I can’t‘ we’re sending this message to our subconscious mind that we’re unable. We take away our own power.
There are plenty of examples of wonderful people who had overcome their own fears and limitations. People who went through accidents and diseases, people who were told they could’t never do something and then they did. They proved that our mind is so strong and that we can achieve anything when we believe in.
But, well, we can’t fly! Oh really? The Wright Brothers did it, now millions of people fly daily.
It is our mindsets who defines, what we are capable of doing. And because of the mindset it is so important how we talk to our children. I am a 34 year old woman. I picked up many disempowering beliefs along the way. But do I really need to pass them on to my child? It is not my job to show my child how the world works. My job is to accompany her on her individual journey and to guard her while she is so young, guard her to keep her knowledge and wisdom she brought with her. My job is to give her a safe environment where she can remember and grow into the person she is meant to be.
Empower instead of disempower!
I went to a kids birthday a while ago. The children were playing, dancing and doing splits. The birthday kid who was not in the gymnastic group, tried to copy the moves of the other children. Her mother was laughing and said: ‚Oh dear, just leave it. You are so unathletic, you will never be able to a split.‘ I believe here was some ego from the mum kicking in. The other kids who trained a split at their gym class looked much more elegant. Maybe she was embarrassed and wanted to sound funny. Making a joke before someone else makes a comment. But the message that was sent to her daughter was very clear: ‚I do not believe in you. You are not capable of doing this. Do not even try, even me will laugh at you.‘ Instead she could have encouraged her daughter, asking if she would like to learn this and suggested to find a teacher.
I was told at a very young age that I do not have a beautiful singing voice. Embarrassing experiences did the rest and so I deprived myself of all the fun of singing loud. Now, as an adult, I still have some of this believe in me. But I also have the inner strength and confidence that I do not really care if my voice sounds beautiful or not, I sing for the fun of it with the knowledge that I could always take singing lessons if I wanted do.
Recently we watched Supergirl on TV, who was trained by her older sister how to do martial arts. My daughter was so impressed and said I want to fight like Supergirl. I said: ‚No problem, your uncle is a martial art teacher, he can teach you.‘ She said: ‚Oh great, my uncle will teach me how to fly.‘ Well, I had to tell her, that I am not sure if her uncle could teach her how to fly, but she could start by learning the skills he can teach her. Later she asked me: ‚Mum, who can teach me my superpowers?‘ I don’t need to know the answer, my job is to encourage her. I believe we all have superpowers. If we really want, we will discover our inner power and we will find our teacher.
Using ‚I can’t‘ as an excuse
‚Have you ever been in a situation when you were asked to do something, like to go out with your friends, while you would prefer to stay at home or your boss asked you to work an extra shift and you just couldn’t say: ‚I don’t want to.‘ You were afraid of hurting someones feelings or just being afraid of telling your truth, so instead you say: ‚I can’t.‘ Maybe you would even find 2 or more reasons why you ‚can’t‘. You may be very proud, how you got yourself out of this situation, but each time you say: ‚I can’t‘ you limit yourself. Watch your own words, they form your beliefs. And they form the beliefs of your children!
What are your limited beliefs? How did you overcome them? Please share your answer in the comments below.