Trust needs to be practised. Over and over.

Trust is something that needs to be practised. Over and over again. It has to be trained as a muscle. The same goes with patience. When you trust, you’re patient. You are patient and you wait, because you know that everything unfolds as it is supposed to be. It doesn’t mean, that everything goes as you plan. No, not at all. It means that everything that is supposed to be will be, no matter if you planned it or not. There’s no need to worry about anything, because if you  do worry, you will not change anything and if you do not worry, you will not change anything either. So why worry, unless you enjoy to feel worry.

So can I lean back and not doing anything? Well you can, but if you do not take action you can  not achieve anything. So go and take action, do the things you believe in, go for it. If you do not know how to achieve it, do not worry, just keep walking guided by your inner gut feeling.

So let me share sequences of my recent trust training with you:

Camino de Santiago -10:

So, it’s less then 10 days that we start our big walk. 900km on the Camino de Santiago – open end. Great to keep all possibilities open. Let’s see how it goes. How will we master all challenges on the way? How will we embrace our shadows? How much will we expand and how much more will we know? It’s very exciting.

And on the other hand, on what seems to be such an easy going life style, there’s a lot of structure, planning and organizing involved. Planning for over 3 month, getting visa stuff organized over three continents, while living abroad and preparing an international online summit. Flying to Holland and now figuring out where to stay in Germany, checking holiday apartments, figuring out how to get all our bags to Germany by train. Where to rent a car? Where to get walking boots for all of us? How will we prevent blisters with new shoes? Where will we find the trailer for Malia? What kind of birthday party will we organize? What great cake could I make? In whose kitchen can I bake? How to plan accordingly to all the different schedules of friends and family to fit a reunion in? How to make our visit most convenient for everyone?

And then I feel a bit overwhelmed. Have done the biggest parts, Adrenalin is pushing one through the big challenges. But when the little things come, it’s like a strong black sog, that sucks you in. I feel totally exhausted from trying not to get totally sucked in. I am just tired. There is no adrenalin rush. I wonder if this is one of these moments where you just have to push through or is your whole body system telling you: just take it easy and relax.

So why not taking it easy? What seems to be a disaster at first, like a plan that is not working out, might be a blessing after all. No matter what will happen with or without plan. It may take time to realize it, but at the end it is always well. So why not just using a short cut by taking it easy now and simply trust? Just another leap of faith.

Trusting needs to be practised and yes, it can be very tiring at the beginning. In some situations it is already so easy and it became natural to trust and other situations just need more practice. And each time we expand….

Camino -9:

Yeah, we found walking boots for Malia and I. The first time in almost two years that we wear closed shoes…and these are boots!!! They are very light. I insisted in not having the sturdy hiking boots. We need to bend the sole of the shoes as much as possible. The vendor was worried that we could feel the ground through the shoes, I couldn’t imagine not feel the  ground. We walk a lot barefoot, not all the time but most of it. And if we wear shoes they are open.

Malia fell asleep in car on the way to the shop. I carried her sleeping into the shop and sleeping out. In between she was laying in the shopping cart…sleeping.

Since she couldn’t try hers, we were both allowed to take the shoes home and walk in the house for a week to see if they fit. Great service, on the other hand I wouldn’t want shoes that were worn from someone else for a whole week.

Camino -8:

Ahhh we walked the first hour in our boots, outside of the house. My feet hurt, not on the side or in the front…no on the bottom of the foot. The shoe seems to be pretty good, it is just I am not used to shoes anymore.

I found a trailer. Yeeeaaahhhh, so happy and grateful.

When I walked the camino for the first time, two years ago,  I had borrowed a trailer but a part was missing. So I ordered the spare part through ebay and found out that the seller lived just 20km from where we stayed the last few days before departure. I didn’t want to take changes therefore I arranged to pick it up personally. When I arrived I found out it was gone, sold to someone else. I had less then one day and no trailer and didn’t find one until 8pm the evening before early departure in the morning. Big trust exercise.

The funny thing is, that the complete trailer is sold by someone who lives in the same village as the seller from last year.

I contact the seller and we arrange that I pick up the trailer for a very good price on wednesday (departure is sunday morning). I am so proud, this time I got a trailer secured 8 days before we leave.

A few hours later, I receive a very strange message: „You’re an imposter. The trailer is sold to someone else. I have reported you to the police.“

Hhhhhhh? I don’t get it, I call the guys mobile, he doesn’t answer, I leave a message and ask what’s going on. Must be some spam. I also send an email. He answers that he received a message from that my account was fraud and they had to close my account, so he sold the trailer to someone else. I replied, that my account isn’t closed obviously and that he already had my webpage to check my details. He replied that he got scared. He didn’t report me to the police but he sold the trailer.

Ahhhhh, not again. So what is it that I am not seeing here???? Anyone?

Strange that it is again someone from the same village, close to were we stay shortly before departure. Strange that he didn’t sell the trailer for a long time and suddenly it is sold just before I am ready to pick it up? Strange that the veneration for authority came up a nano second. „I called the police on you.“ Like my inner child was shrugging when told the police will come, that means you have been a naughty child. My 35year old is laughing, don’t worry inner child, I got your back.

Anyway, that means it’s 8 days before departure, I am still in Holland, have some busy days ahead and I have no trailer. Did I ask for another training sequenze today?

The god thing is, it looks like I have an apartement for us from day -4 till D-Day. It’s not the cheaper one I was fancying, a few Euros more expensive but very nice on the pictures. Just in the neighbour village from where my family lives.

Note to myself: Things that needs to be done a)rental car- b)trailer- c)organizing my daughters 5th birthday- d)getting backpacks for the walk- e)doing tax stuff- f) picking up my husband from the airport- g)getting him camino equipment- h)packing and taking the train to Germany, pick up the rental car, visiting my god child, sleeping at a friends place, picking up husband from the airport, driving to the apartment and prepare the birthday party. Yes that order shall work.

Are you curious how it goes on? Me too.

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